Wednesday, August 6, 2008

August 6, 2008 at 9:15

My mom died this morning. Sadly I wasn't there with her, but I think she was waiting for all of us to leave her. Always the good hostess. I was very nervous driving to see her. I wasn't sure what to expect or how I would feel seeing her. As I entered the room and saw her lying there she looked so peaceful. A frozen smile on her face. I haven't seen her smile for over a week. Her skin was so soft. I felt guilty for wanting all of this to be over, wished she would take another breath, but her smile comforted me. I know she is in a better place spending time with those who have gone before her. After everyone that was there had a chance to say a final goodbye, my sister's Kara and Mindy helped me wash her. I love her so much and I am really going to miss her. I know she will be waiting for me, and helping me be a better mom to my own kids. I am thankful for her example. I love you mom.

9 comments:

Emily said...

I'm so sorry Katie. I've been thinking about you and praying that you would be able to find some peace. You are so strong and I'm sure it is a comfort knowing that she is no longer suffering and is in a better place. You are amazing and I'm sure your mom was a special woman and will be greatly missed. Love you.

Amanda said...

Are you handling this ok Katie? I hope so! You are such a wonderful person.

ajesplin said...

Oh, Katie, I can't decide if I'd be luckier to have you as my daughter or my mother, since you excel at both jobs. I'm sure your mom was grateful you were able to spend time with her at the end. I hope you and all your siblings feel at peace soon. Love you!

And I'm so happy for you, that you get to live near your sisters, but I'm gonna miss the crap out of you!

Kalani and Angie said...

Katie ~

I don't know you but I know your sister Kara. She was in our ward before we moved. You may know my husband Kalani who lived with the Spencers off and on. Anyways, may the lord bless you with comfort. Please tell Kara hello for us and we will keep your family in our prayers.

Angie Mago

Emily said...

Katie, this is harder than I thought it would be. Thanks for the post. I am glad she was smiling.

Amie and Karl said...

Katie I am so sorry I loved your mom very much and looked up to her I will call you. Please i know I am far away but please let me know what I can do for you

I love you

Erin Beck said...

Katie,
I cant even imagine what you are going through. I think of my mom and I feel so sad. I hope you and your family are feeling at peace.

morgan and sara said...

Katie, we love you and hope that you will let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

Kimberly said...

I love you so much Katie! I am here for you and can't wait for you to move back so I will have a great example of a mother so close to me.