I thought I was doing so good. I am sure all of you know that my mom died in August. I have missed her and found myself thinking about her more than ever, but over all, I feel like I have been keeping it together pretty well. I have been relying heavily on candy. Pounds of it. Eating so much everyday that I am pretty sure I have diabetes from all of it. I had been feeling physically terrible, as I am sure you could imagine. My stomach is begging for something better so I decided I wasn't going to buy any more candy. I thought I was ready. I ran out yesterday, and I have been a wreck ever since. I don't know how much of it is detox and how much of it is out of control emotion that hasn't ever been dealt with properly. I had gotten some Jelly Bellies yesterday that I was saving for Tom (they are the only candy he really enjoys.) I ate some, too many, but thinking about how I had let myself down made it unfulfilling. I am not going to eat anymore today. Instead, I am going to post this super depressing post. A catharsis of pent up emotion, to save myself a bazillion calories and an upset stomach.
I don't want you to take me so seriously. I am not posting this for pity. I hope you all put something funny to break the tension. It can be cruel and insensitive too. I think that would make me feel better. I know you all feel sorry for me.
Fruit snacks don't count as candy...right?
This is a picture of my mom full of life.
Singing our family song
3 days ago